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I am a freshman, so this year will be my first homecoming. I don’t really know what to wear. It’s semi-formal (guys must wear button ups, dress slacks, dress shoes, and a tie; girls must wear dresses). We can wear strapless and spaghetti strap dresses (and ones with sleeves, of course), and they have to be longer than mid-thigh.
On a daily basis, I wear jeans and pullover sweaters; or tees, jeans, and cardigans. I also wear dresses sometimes (it’s just hard to find ones that are long enough - to the knee).
Most colors work for me (I haven’t found one that looks bad on me…).
I have big boobs (32D), a small waist (26 inches or so), and athletic thighs (I’m a soccer player…).
My favorite stores are J. Crew, Nordstrom, Ann Taylor LOFT, Saks, and Ralph Lauren.
I really don’t like stores like Forever 21, Wet Seal, etc., etc. (most non-department stores in the mall).
I have a price limit of probably $300 (but my parent’s would probably buy me a $400 one, too…).
Could you please please find me some examples of what you think would be good? Dresses that if you saw someone wearing, you would absolutely love?

Thank you so so much in advance!!
?

I am a freshman, so this year will be my first homecoming. I don’t really know what to wear. It’s semi-formal (guys must wear button ups, dress slacks, dress shoes, and a tie; girls must wear dresses). We can wear strapless and spaghetti strap dresses (and ones with sleeves, of course), and they have to be longer than mid-thigh.
On a daily basis, I wear jeans and pullover sweaters; or tees, jeans, and cardigans. I also wear dresses sometimes (it’s just hard to find ones that are long enough - to the knee).
Most colors work for me (I haven’t found one that looks bad on me…).
I have big boobs (32D), a small waist (26 inches or so), and athletic thighs (I’m a soccer player…).
My favorite stores are J. Crew, Nordstrom, Ann Taylor LOFT, Saks, and Ralph Lauren.
I really don’t like stores like Forever 21, Wet Seal, etc., etc. (most non-department stores in the mall).
I have a price limit of probably $300 (but my parent’s would probably buy me a $400 one, too…).
Could you please please find me some examples of what you think would be good? Dresses that if you saw someone wearing, you would absolutely love?

Thank you so so much in advance!!
?

This is an oldie but a goodie and is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

________________________________
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

________________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It’s a whole new life for me.

_______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair master. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other sh*t too.

_________________________________
THURSDAY:
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn’t help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.

Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny bitch to find me.

Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine — which I sank.
_________________________________
FRIDAY:
I hate that b*tch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.

Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don’t have any triceps! And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the
drama coach or the choir director?

________________________________
SATURDAY:
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

________________________________
SUNDAY:
I’m having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little sh*t) will choose a gift for me that is fun — like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Even though women are often obsessed when it comes to shoes, but the truth is that men also take pride in sporting stylish shoes to look sharp for special occasions and just hanging out with guys. Ano…

I have an interview on Monday. Online I applied for “Mens apparel”, but I’m going for the rail. I heard that I should wear what they sell in that section and how those employees dress, so is wearing designer jeans with a shirt they sell there (high-end shirt) and shoes be acceptable? Thanks
I’m a guy not a girl

“I know,” I said, nodding. “Forget about them.” Ashley said. “Actually, guess what? Forget about everything. Okay, yeah, you know what? Forget about Seth and Jeanie and all. Let’s catch up with the girls.” I shrugged. “Sure. Let’s go.”

When I came home, I saw my mom sitting at the kitchen table, her hands folded neatly. She saw me, and awkwardly said, “How was school today, Jada?” I slowly put my backpack on the floor and said to my mom, “Good.” I was becoming fully aware that something—something—was going on. “Take a seat,” my mom told me, pointing at the seat directly across from her. I slowly walked over and looked at my mom. Her eyes were dark, and she looked a little upset. “Now I know that you don’t really do well in school, Jada, but I’m a little disappointed about what happened…” She began. What? What happened? I thought. I looked at the floor, tuning her out. “JADA MADDISON JOY!” I heard my mom yell. Startled, I looked up at her. “Young lady, you LISTEN to me now.” She said angrily. Okay, okay! Jeez… I up righted myself on the chair. “Your math teacher…what’s her name? Mrs. Parson? Patton? Forget about it. Anyway, your math teacher called today to tell me—“ my mom hesitated. My heart stopped, and it was so quiet that you could probably hear a pin drop.

“—Jada, you got a 23% on your science test. An F. It’s very disappointing to your father and I. We have decided that…we’re taking your cellphone away.” My mom finished. I gasped. “What?” I stood up. “You can’t do that! It’s just unfair!” I yelled. Having my cellphone taken away was really horrible. I practically can’t live without one! “I’d rather have my arm chopped of than have my cellphone taken away!” I said. I heard someone laugh. “Well think again.” Jesse walked in, chuckling. He suddenly stopped laughing and stared at me. “What happened?” he asked my mom. “What happened?” my mom asked again, “Jada got an F—and F—on her science test. Unbelievable!” my mom stood up. Jesse whistled. “Wow.” He said. “An F? Are you serious, Jay-Dang?” he asked, using my Korean name. “All Asians are supposed to be smart.” My mom said loudly, “Asians are supposed to represent their country. We must be bright and smart-witted. We Asians hate dumb Asians. You are a very bad excuse for Asians, Jada.” My mom shook her head. I groaned and stomped to my room.

“Jay-Dang! Let your father come in! Jay-Dang!” my father pounded on my door from outside. “COME IN.” I said. My dad opened the door and walked in quietly. “Jay-Dang, I am so, very disappointed in you. Your mother and I have very high expectations of you, and we expect you to meet your goals, achieve them, have success in life. This is where it all starts, Jay-Dang. Listen now, this is important. When you get out of college, your mother and I expect you to have great standards and high averages. We want you to represent our country. Have a successful life. Do you hear me, Jay-Dang?” My dad said. “Yes, Appa.” I said in Korean. “That’s my girl.” My dad smiled and left.

“Oh YEAH!” I heard Johnny yell in his room. “Go Robo! You beat that loser! You’re goin’ down, Flame!” I slowly opened the door and walked in. I saw him sitting on his beanbag, playing on…my cellphone! Hey! MY cellphone!

“Hey, that’s my cellphone!” I yelled. Startled, Johnny looked up and said, “Oh. This? Mom let me use this.” He continued playing. “What?!” I said. “What?’ Johnny stared at me. I groaned. “Nothing. Never mind.” I walked downstairs. My mom saw me and yelled, “Jada! Come over here! I need to talk to you.” Cautious, I walked over to her. “Phoebe’s coming over this weekend.” She said. “While she’s coming over, your dad and I are going to the Asian market. I want you guys to behave at home, okay?” Wait—Phoebe was coming over? Woohoo! I love it when our cousin comes over! She’s in college, and she’s totally nice. She always brings presents over when she comes. Hmm—what did she bring over for me this time? Cute clothes, designer shoes, over even…both? No, don’t be greedy, Jada, I told myself. The reason you’re happy is because Phoebe’s coming over. I walked to my room, dreading the sounds of Johnny playing on my ex- cellphone.

Ding-dong. The doorbell rang. “I’ll get it!” I yelled, and ran for the door.

“Hey, Jada!” Phoebe smiled. “What’s up?” she asked me. “Nothing.” I sighed. “Need help with those bags?” I suddenly perked up, offering Phoebe. “Sure, I could use that…” Phoebe smiled.

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